Tuesday, March 27, 2012

3 to 31

Ah, hello again. It's been a while . . . but not really. Time. It's the egg, the binder, holding this experience together. And, like all of my favorite foods, it simply goes too fast.

I thought it would be good to remind of the post I wrote in honor (or horror) of my 30th birthday.

No, let's think positivelybecause, truly, that's how I feel. Aging, as perplexing and fast as it is, is also wondrous. Why? Well, with age comes wisdomor, at least, a keener ability to pause, reflect, and act. Sometimes action leads to setbacks. But perhaps they aren't setbacks. Aging allows for this kind of perspective.

Aging. It has a negative connotation. I can't rid aging of that. What I can do is recognize that though I am aging, I'm also getting sharper and more sensitivemore open. I am more interested in me. Interested in myself, first, because I understand that to live authentically and rapturously (why not?), I must live from the inside out.

This doesn't mean I haven't tripped, and won't trip. Practice is generally much harder than theory. This doesn't mean I won't seek out new experiences. My aim is to approach every experience with this inside-out perspective. If I sense something is not quite right for my nearly-31-year-old self, I will seek to change it, or, at the very least, understand why it isn't. Living, which is loving, begins with self.

So, that's a fair amount of philosophy for this Web estate, which has become a nearly neglected home. But I visit when I'm moved to.

And that list, 30 for 30? Well, I can say I'm able to scratch off a few. Boxing was a fine experiment, until I acquired boxer's knuckle. No pain, no gain. And there was some pain, some gain, and now, thankfully, no pain. But I'm gaining in other wayshopefully pushing myself mindfully in work, art, and play. In openness. Authenticity. And, joyfully, in aging.